Ditch the Dildo

Ditch the Dildo'Q: My husband is fixated on the size of his penis. He thinks it’s too small to satisfy me and insists on using a dildo contraption he puts on over his penis. He’s a very attentive love in every other way. I’d much prefer the intimacy of feeling his skin next to mine. He won’t believe me when I say he’s an amazing lover without the dildo. What can I do to get him to ditch the dildo?

A: First let me say how refreshing it is to hear that your husband is an attentive lover. We don’t hear that enough these days. I have a couple of suggestions. Instead of continuing to beat this horse head on, try starting a new game with him to direct his attention away from the act of penetration. Try taking him out for a coffee the following day (best not to have this discussion right after making love) and tell him what a great time you had the day/night before. Ask him what his favorite part was? (Don’t worry if he isn’t sure what you’re talking about, he’s playing it safe.) Then tell him your favorite part by choosing something sexual other the actual intercourse. For example, you might say, “I loved it when you played with my clit with the tip of your tongue.” Don’t worry if it feels awkward at first, behind the blushes, he’ll be pleased at his prowess, and you’ll be on your way toward that skin-to-skin contact.

Another time, perhaps a special occasion like your birthday, let him know the feel of his penis in your vagina stimulates you much more than the dildo (only if this is true) and ask him to forego the dastardly dildo as a special treat for you. Perhaps taking the emphasis off his size and putting it on his prowess will help him overcome this insecurity.

Let us know how it goes, and, as always, Feed Your Passion!

Questions about how to spice up your sex life? I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to comment below or touch me up on Twitter.